Short and To The Point

[tia travels]

"Daddy, what are those two dogs doing to each other?"
"Uhh...one's sick and the other one's pushing him to the hospital!"

What do you get when you cross a whore and a computer?
A fucking know-it-all!

What did one congressman say to the other congressman? What
page are you on.

(I'm Polish and I don't take offense to any of these jokes and hope you don't also):

Did you hear about the Polack who was asked if he would like to become a Jehovah Witness said no because he had not seen the accident!

Did you hear about the Polish girl who thought that a sanitary belt was a drink out of a clean shot glass?

What is purple, orange, green, red, and blue? A well dressed Polack going to church!

Do you know what a gynecologist is? A spreader of old wives' tails.

What's a practical nurse?
Answer: One who marries a wealthy old patient.

What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
Answer: Gonorrhea!

"What is your dog's name?"
"I call my dog "herpes."
"Herpes?"
"Yeah. He won't heal, either!"

Question: What's 3 two-letter words that mean small?
Answer: "Is it in?"

Question: What is a ski jump?
Answer: A Polish whore.

While baking a cake one day, a Polish mother was asked by her
little boy if he could lick the bowl. The mother said, "No, flush it
like everyone else does."

Did you hear the Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor have founded a new charity?
No. What is the name of it?
They are calling it "The Ignited Negro College Fund!"

Question: Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps?
Answer: So they don't whistle on the way down.

Question: Why do bald men have holes in their pockets?
Answer: Because they like to run their hand through their hair.

Question: Why do farts smell?
Answer: The Lord put a smell in them so the deaf could enjoy them,
too.

A flight of bees were heading south for the winter and one
wanted to make a pit stop at an ESSO station. The flight refused to rest
and the lone bee zoomed off. The moral of this story is that there is an
ESSO bee in every crowd.

"Have you ever thought of getting married?" Harry asked his
friend Tom.
"Yeah. A couple of times," Tom replied.
"Well, what happened?"
"The rabbits got better!"

Question: What is the difference between a fox and a pig?
Answer: About five drinks?

Question: Why was Lady Di disappointed on her honeymoon?
Answer: She thought all rulers had twelve inches!

Question: Why did the man with the legless dog call his pet
"Cigarette?"
Answer: Because every so often he'd take him for a drag.

Question: Where is an elephant's sex organ?
Answer: In his feet. If he steps on you, consider yourself fucked.